Not all struggle leads to personal growth. Learn to distinguish between good struggle vs bad struggle, so you can invest your emotional energy in the right areas.
There’s agency and then there’s pushing against situations you have little control over. Learned this the hard way going from startup to big companies. Sometimes it’s important to lead change. Sometimes, you escalate and manage downside. Judgment is the critical component to learn.
Though work is definitely one area I’ve felt this, another area that comes to mind is relationships. There are people who challenge you in a good way, and others who just might not be the right fit.
I think similarly to certain work environments, there are certain values / behaviors / ideologies in people that are just too hard to change, so then it becomes a question of ‘am I willing to accept X for who they are or not?’
Amazing post, thank you, far too many people are used to put together struggle and growing but everyday we can see people who just did what we have been hesitating or considering doing, and it wasn't that bad, or it didn't have all the struggles that we thought it would bring.
And the number of companies or bosses who justify struggle and bad working habits with "you are growing".
This makes me think about when I worry over senior level decisions I have no control over. I need to stop borrowing stress and just do my own work.
I used to ask my direct reports in 1:1s "are you being challenged in a good way?"
There’s agency and then there’s pushing against situations you have little control over. Learned this the hard way going from startup to big companies. Sometimes it’s important to lead change. Sometimes, you escalate and manage downside. Judgment is the critical component to learn.
Love all your writing!
Love this, such a great point Zhao. Same re: your writing, my friend!
What game to play > how to play
Though work is definitely one area I’ve felt this, another area that comes to mind is relationships. There are people who challenge you in a good way, and others who just might not be the right fit.
I think similarly to certain work environments, there are certain values / behaviors / ideologies in people that are just too hard to change, so then it becomes a question of ‘am I willing to accept X for who they are or not?’
Hi Wes - This is the struggle of being on the right side of the 80/20 rule! Leading vs. lagging indicators…
Amazing post, thank you, far too many people are used to put together struggle and growing but everyday we can see people who just did what we have been hesitating or considering doing, and it wasn't that bad, or it didn't have all the struggles that we thought it would bring.
And the number of companies or bosses who justify struggle and bad working habits with "you are growing".