My truth (that no one tells you early on in consulting): some managers are impossible to read because they don't actually know what they want until they see it. And when they do see it, they often want the opposite next week. Basically they are iterating in real-time and using you as the canvas.
The projects that change your trajectory often come after the ones that nearly break your spirit....
I wish I had read this much earlier in my career! Particularly this line: "If you expect 'fairness' to win out, you will always feel slighted if it doesn’t."
Great article , with deep lasting impact to both leaders and direct reports. A well written article to help change perspective leading to behavior change … end result better work by understanding manager dynamics. Thank you, will def share.
I've started to think about careers as apprenticeships: You've got to find someone you want to apprentice under, even (and maybe especially) because you won't always agree. Once you see your manager's advice playing out over time, you adjust your own mental models to be more accurate. (Or you realize their mental models are, in fact, worse than or incompatible with yours, which means you aren't actually learning - in which case, get out; as you put it, that shoe will never fit.)
Perfectly timed post! I’m about to start a new job and am trying to actively plan my approach and ways of working with my new manager. I want to shake off the dynamic with my previous manager and go into this new one with a fresh mindset. Think I might be up for your course soon!
stopped halfway where you said you need to "mold yourself around them". I think managers need to mold themselves around their employees, serve them, support them, and promote their voices, and not the other way around. Why should I mold around someone to just make them successful? So they can get promoted while I'm stuck?
My truth (that no one tells you early on in consulting): some managers are impossible to read because they don't actually know what they want until they see it. And when they do see it, they often want the opposite next week. Basically they are iterating in real-time and using you as the canvas.
The projects that change your trajectory often come after the ones that nearly break your spirit....
@Wes Kao There is one exception to your shoe analogy: Birkenstocks.
Those are shoes that really do need to be broken in :)
As always - appreciate the great content!
I wish I had read this much earlier in my career! Particularly this line: "If you expect 'fairness' to win out, you will always feel slighted if it doesn’t."
Thank you for writing this!
Great article , with deep lasting impact to both leaders and direct reports. A well written article to help change perspective leading to behavior change … end result better work by understanding manager dynamics. Thank you, will def share.
yes the only person we are in control of is ourselves to change!
I've started to think about careers as apprenticeships: You've got to find someone you want to apprentice under, even (and maybe especially) because you won't always agree. Once you see your manager's advice playing out over time, you adjust your own mental models to be more accurate. (Or you realize their mental models are, in fact, worse than or incompatible with yours, which means you aren't actually learning - in which case, get out; as you put it, that shoe will never fit.)
The shoe analogy is brilliant.
Spent years thinking "this manager just needs to understand my perspective better" and wondering why nothing changed.
Turns out you can't debug a personality.
Once you accept your manager as they are, you can finally focus on what you actually control: your response.
Same energy, better results.
Perfectly timed post! I’m about to start a new job and am trying to actively plan my approach and ways of working with my new manager. I want to shake off the dynamic with my previous manager and go into this new one with a fresh mindset. Think I might be up for your course soon!
I love how you think :) Thank you for providing this content for free
stopped halfway where you said you need to "mold yourself around them". I think managers need to mold themselves around their employees, serve them, support them, and promote their voices, and not the other way around. Why should I mold around someone to just make them successful? So they can get promoted while I'm stuck?