4 Comments

I like #5.

You can broadcast bad news strategically, and frame the news in a way that shows you have learned from your missteps and changed the course.

At the same time, I think there's finesse required in sharing the good news too: you don't want to sound too "braggy" but you always want to look like there's an element of progress in all your wins (eg, "we did abc AND that's why we won", or "we stopped doing XYZ HENCE we managed to win").

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I’ve seen people maneuver conversations with incredible finesse, often using several skills here at once.

Finesse to me is the ability (almost superhuman when you see a world-class practitioner) of maneuvering people and conversations with excellence, while appearing yourself completely neutral. You could say “while masking your intentions”, but that’s too sinister; closer to “while maintaining absolute poise”.

Finesse is seeing a conversation coming (usually one you don’t want to have), and never flinching, never grimacing, never being defensive… you just turn a person right around and maybe even pick up ground afterwards. They didn’t get what they wanted AND they left happy. Or YOU got signed up for something you didn’t think you wanted, and you’re not upset about it. Masterful.

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I love this, Wes. It is about empathy and integrity and the lost art of centering others. I want to be good at this so much.

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I would add the ability to let other people have it their way even if you are 100% your way is better. And do it without obvious resentment :)

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