Part II: Nuances when using the "inverted but" technique

5 nuances to keep in mind when you apply this tactic, based on common questions from other readers.

👋 Hey, it’s Wes. Welcome to my weekly newsletter on managing up, leading teams, and standing out as a high performer. For more, check out my intensive course on Executive Communication & Influence.

Read time: 6 minutes

---

Today’s newsletter is sponsored by Balsamiq. If your team doesn’t get it, they won’t build it. Specs get misread. Docs go ignored. Meetings drag. Balsamiq helps PMs, devs, and founders visually communicate requirements before work starts. No friction, bloated tools, or second-guessing. Try Balsamiq free for 30 days.

---

This is Part II of a two-part series. Check out Part I: Use “but” strategically

After last week’s post on how to use “but” strategically, I started noticing when “but” was used well all around me. And I realized I personally use the “inverted but” technique 10x more than I thought I did. It’s incredibly versatile.

This is the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon (i.e. frequency illusion) in action, where after you become aware of something, you start seeing it everywhere.

After getting some follow-up questions from readers, I’ve jotted some nuances to consider when you use “but” strategically.

First, a quick reminder. What is the Inverted But Technique?

“But” is a negating word. It cancels out whatever comes before it. Most people use a structure of saying, “The positive thing, but the negative thing,” which accidentally cancels out all the positive stuff.

We can use “but” strategically by inverting:

🚫 “The positive thing, but the negative thing.”

✅ “The negative thing, but the positive thing.”

Here’s an example:

🚫 “That's an interesting idea, but it might be challenging to implement.”

✅ “This might be challenging to implement, but it's an interesting idea.”

Notice when we put the positive stuff AFTER the “but,” you sound more positive while still getting your point across.

Here are nuances to keep in mind when using this in your communication.

1. Use the “inverted but” to set a more positive frame, then transition immediately to sharing actionable feedback.

The time scale matters: You want to say “[negative], but [positive]” in the same breath.

Do not spend the majority of time talking about the positive, if what you REALLY want to focus on is sharing constructive feedback.

This is not meant to be a “shit sandwich” either, where you hide your main point between words of praise.

The “inverted but” technique works best when it’s used to set an initial positive frame. Then you go right into sharing details about edits, feedback, etc.

When you spend too much time on the positive, you give a misleading message. It also feels disingenuous to go on at length about something positive you don’t really feel. Don’t do that.

2. The positive simply serves as an opener.

Here’s a question from a reader:

“In my experience, the negative bit is often what demands further discussion ("the presentation is great" can stand alone; "there are a few issues" warrants follow-up). How do you employ a strategy like this without white-washing the discussion and never addressing the negative thing?”

The positive is used as an opener. With the “inverted but” technique, the positive is half a sentence at the beginning. Then I’d go into more detail on the feedback. So the vibe is less “this sucks, and here are all the things that suck” and more “you’re almost there, just focus on these things.”

✅ “There are a few issues, but overall the presentation looks great. In terms of areas to tighten, I’d streamline the narrative arc because…”

Notice how by the second sentence, I’m shifting gears to discuss areas to improve. This prevents you from white-washing the discussion.

3. Do not say something looks good if it doesn’t actually look good.

I’m a big proponent of speaking accurately.

This might seem like it doesn’t need to be said, but I find many managers don’t want to seem too negative or make our team feel demoralized, so we end up saying nice things to try to make them feel better.

Saying nice things to make people feel better is not helpful for anyone. If you say a positive thing, it should be something you actually believe in.

Sometimes that takes a bit of creativity to find the bright spot, but I can usually find one pretty easily.

For example, let’s say the presentation is quite bad. I want to be honest and direct, without being dramatic or overly negative. I would be objective and evidence-based.

I might say something like this:

✅ “This wasn’t what I had in mind and I think it’s quite far from where we want it to be, but on the bright side, I love that you’re showing me this early so we can align and calibrate on what direction we do want to go in. [INSERT FEEDBACK]”

^ Notice how I’m not judging my direct report or subtly implying that they are incompetent, or that I’m disappointed in them, etc. There’s a common saying in management that we should criticize the work, not the person.

The script above does exactly this—it focuses on the work product in an objective, neutral way.

The gist is:

I shared my high level assessment that this slide deck wasn’t good, BUT (here’s the use of the inverted but) I am optimistic we can fix this and get to a good place.

This will all work better if you adopt a positive demeanor when you deliver feedback. If you sound repulsed or frustrated, your recipient will pick up on that emotional tone.

4. You have to actually believe what you’re saying.

I have said extremely critical stuff to my direct reports and left intense red lines on their work, yet they told me they went back to their desks feeling motivated and excited to take another stab.

I believe a large part of this is because (a) I’ve set the expectation that I will give lots of feedback, but also (b) I actually genuinely believe they’re able to do a better job if we discuss how to make it better.

So when I talk about it, it comes across as sincere and positive because that’s how I actually feel.

Try to find one bright side of the situation that you can comment on. There is almost always SOMETHING positive—it might not be the quality of the work itself, but it can be the fact that the person brought it to you to align.

You can put this positive thing after the “but.”

5. There are limitations to every tactic.

The purpose of the “inverted but” is not to entirely negate the negative, it's to increase the chances that your recipient hears you without freaking out. If you frame positively, it will feel lighter and more doable than if you framed it in a critical, heavy way. They still might react negatively, but if you don’t use the “inverted but,” they might react even worse.

Another consideration: If your recipient really wants to ignore your feedback, they will. If history shows that this person is not open to feedback, or shows poor judgment in reading social cues, then changing how you position the feedback probably won’t make a difference. At that point, that is not a communication problem—this is a fit problem, a value alignment problem, a motivation problem, or some other problem. Communication can help you appeal to your recipient, but it can’t change who they are completely.

If you try the “inverted but” and it seems confusing, it might not be a good fit for your situation.

Play around with the sentence and see how it changes the sentiment, and make sure you are both positive AND clear.

What’s one piece of feedback, area of disagreement, or negative news you need to deliver this week that could benefit from the “inverted but” approach?

Hit reply because I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for being here, and I’ll see you next Wednesday at 8am ET.

Wes

---

Connect with Wes

• Are you new to the newsletter? Subscribe for free

• Follow me on LinkedIn for more insights

• Learn more about 1:1 coaching to improve your executive presence

• ✨ The May 2025 cohort is now 75% full, and is the last chance to take the course this spring. Improve your ability to sell your ideas, manage up, gain buy-in, and increase your impact in an intensive 2-day workshop. Save your spot here: Executive Communication & Influence for Senior ICs and Managers