👋 Hey, it’s Wes. Welcome to my bi-weekly newsletter on managing up, leading teams, and standing out as a high performer. For more, check out my intensive course on Executive Communication & Influence for Senior ICs and Managers.
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Read time: 4 minutes
I’m excited to share a new newsletter series called Fundamentals, which will highlight my core concepts in communication, leadership, and influence.
Even as my newsletter has grown to 75,000+ subscribers, I often find myself referencing these principles with clients and in my own work. Whether you’re new here or a longtime reader, this concept deserves a spot in your toolbox.
This week’s fundamental principle:
Updated thoughts
Since publishing the post, some readers have asked, “What if the backstory really is important? Or interesting?” If it’s important or interesting, I wouldn’t call it backstory. This might be semantics, but I define “backstory” as information that’s ancillary, historical, not super related, nice-to-know. If what you want to share is truly crucial (and/or fun for the person to hear about), go ahead and include it. In other words, use your judgment about what you want to include.
Most of us remind ourselves to be more concise, but there’s something about “start right before you get eaten by the bear” that is much more memorable and visceral.
Some readers have told me they have Post-its by their computer monitors with the phrase “Start right before you get eaten by the bear.” I’m a fan of visual reminders, so this was especially cool to hear.
When you become aware of “start right before you get eaten by the bear,” you start noticing how much time we all waste on backstory. You start noticing how other people’s backstory is not helpful as they think it is. Which helps YOU realize that your backstory is probably not as necessary as you think, either.
I came up with this framework after learning the hard way. I’ve absolutely wasted 25 minutes out of 30 minute calls on backstory. Of course, I regretted it every time. Now, I ask myself, “How can I explain my situation in the briefest way possible, so I can give the other person more time to speak?”
I posted about this on LinkedIn, and the comments were hilarious and spot on:
And here are some reader comments I thought were particularly salient:
“It's funny [that] as a listener I don’t want a lot of backstory, but when I'm speaking, I feel like I need to provide a lot of backstory. Trying to get that paradox in sync.” - Tim Whitley
“I find that when I want to go heavy into my back story - typically it's because I doubt my main point is strong enough to stand on its own. If I trust my idea and am primarily focused on providing value to my reader (rather than soothing my ego or making myself appear better/smarter) - this is much easier to do.” - Vanessa Hernandez
“In a post that went out this morning, I initially had a ton of backstory. I thought it would give context. It didn’t. I hacked 2 paragraphs into 3 sentences, and it was exactly what the story needed.” - Kevin Alexander
“All the examples really helped to show how painful it is for listeners when too much backstory is shared. I’ve been in so many of those meetings and listened to so many YouTube videos like that - 27 mins long to change a light bulb, or similar 😂” - Caleb Mellas
“Dang! As a recruiter, I see this everyday with myself, my clients and candidates. I will be more conscious of the backstory creep and politely steer conversations to the main points.” - Joseph Waruiru
Do this today
After you read the full article, consider these prompts:
When are you most susceptible to sharing too much backstory?
What’s an occasion this week where you’ll practice starting right before you get eaten by the bear?
Thanks for being here, and I’ll see you in two weeks on Wednesday at 8am ET.
Wes
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Many managers find themselves listening to a lot of the backstory. This means a lot of time is spent trying to understand what has happened, not on how to untangle the situation. Often, I find myself steering the conversation to what the person would like to do next. However, I am not saying that as a manager you should sometimes be there to listen. You absolutely should.
This example is so true:
"I find that when I want to go heavy into my back story - typically it's because I doubt my main point is strong enough to stand on its own. If I trust my idea and am primarily focused on providing value to my reader (rather than soothing my ego or making myself appear better/smarter) - this is much easier to do.” - Vanessa Hernandez
Yes. This nails something I’ve been trying to put my finger on for awhile in my own music writing. Thanks Wes.