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I originally published a version of this essay in March 2020.
Read time: 5 minutes
Language is a free way to be strategic. The right words can make you seem warmer, more authoritative, and more effective.
But the wrong words can unintentionally make you sound negative, passive, or confrontational. You can sound like you’re not a team player even when you are one in real life.
Use words to your advantage. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by using language that diminishes your own intent and authority.
Here are easy fixes to common mistakes below. Before you hit “send,” delete these words from your writing. Your message will be stronger for it.
1. Delete “fine”
Saying fine sounds like you’re not fine. When you’re writing, you only have cold hard text—you can’t use facial expressions to show warmth. Therefore, you need to amp up the positivity to compensate.
Before 🚫: “I’m fine with that.”
After 👍: “I’m good with that.” “That sounds good.” “Great, I’m on board.”
2. Delete “however”
“However” is a melodramatic way to say “but.” It makes ideas sound more negative than they have to be. It skews toward formal, corporate, and bureaucratic. If you need a negating word, use “but.” More on how to use “but” strategically.
Before 🚫: “It should take an hour or two each day. However, you can do your work on your schedule. The only exceptions are the two livestream sessions, which are scheduled for X date. However, we’ll record these and send them out to you, so if you can’t make those times, no big deal.”
After 👍: “It should take an hour or two each day. You can do most of your work on your own schedule. The only real-time sessions are two livestreams, which are scheduled for X date. For your convenience, we’ll record these livestreams so you can watch them on-demand at your leisure.”
On a related note, try to end your sentences on a positive word. “Leisure” is a better phrase than “no big deal.” Your reader’s eyes will see the first and last words more than the words in the middle.
3. Delete “unfortunately”
Don’t make things sound worse than they actually are. If you share bad news, you don’t want to fan the flames and make a situation sound catastrophic when it’s not. If you must, use “but.”
Before 🚫: “Unfortunately, we currently only offer the two livestream sessions on X dates, but all livestream sessions are recorded and distributed to students the following day. All other content can be accessed 24/7.”
After 👍: “Absolutely. The two livestream sessions are only scheduled on X dates, but all livestream sessions are recorded and distributed to students the following day. All other content can be accessed 24/7.”
In the example above, if you offer livestream events on x dates, why do you need to say “unfortunately”? The customer might have asked for other dates, but it doesn’t mean their request was justified.
By saying “unfortunately,” you subconsciously accept blame. And this can make the customer feel even more upset and wronged. The bottom line: Phrase neutral news in a more neutral or positive stance.
More on why you should avoid incepting negative ideas.
4. Delete double negatives
Some of these aren’t technically double-negatives, but the “not” is confusing. When you say “not,” your reader has to think of what is, then think of the opposite.
Make it easier for people to understand you: state things in the affirmative as your default. You can always break this rule when it’s purposeful and intentional.
Note: You might think “I only have positive things to say” seems good. But! It has an implication of scarcity because of the word “only.” Your intent is that you have an abundance of good things to say, so you want to pick a phrase that evokes abundance, like “so many.”
Before 🚫: “I could not be more proud to...”
After 👍: “I am incredibly proud to….”
Before 🚫: “He’s not wrong.”
After 👍: “He has a point.”
Before 🚫: “I have nothing but positive things to say about them.”
After 👍: “I have so many positive things to say about them.”
Short phrases are usually okay with double negatives. For example, “I couldn’t have said it better” is easy to understand because it’s a commonly used phrase and it’s fairly short. The longer or more complex your sentence structure, the more you’ll want to avoid double negatives.
5. Delete “can’t until”
The problem with “can’t until” is you’re giving up your power unnecessarily. You’re giving a concession—you’re saying, “I’m sorry I can’t do the time you needed. The best I can do is this other subpar thing.”
Don’t state what you can’t do. State what you can do.
Before 🚫: “I can’t meet until 2pm.”
After 👍: “I can meet at 2pm and after.”
6. Delete “honestly”
Let’s assume your default is to tell the truth. If you point out your honesty, this makes me think you are usually dishonest.
Before 🚫: “To be honest, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
After 👍: “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
7. Delete “just”
Your sentence will be stronger without “just.” Seriously, try it. The next time you want to say “just,” remove it and notice how much more confident you sound (without losing your original meaning).
Before 🚫: “I just wanted to ask…”
After 👍: “I wanted to ask…”
8. Delete “truly,” “very,” “really”
You’ll come across as sincere (or more so) without these words. This one is somewhat stylistic, and I believe a well-placed “really” can add emphasis. But “truly” can sound melodramatic—and when you start to stack multiple of these emphasizer words, it can be a lot. Use sparingly and intentionally.
Before 🚫: “I really appreciate you and I’m truly glad to be part of this team.”
After 👍: “I appreciate you and I’m honored to be part of this team.”
Before 🚫: “I was truly excited.”
After 👍: “I was jumping out of my seat.”
Pro tip: You could simply delete very/truly/really. That works. If you want to go to the next level, try swapping out for a more evocative word. For example, notice how I changed “truly glad” to “honored.”
9. Delete “no problem”
This one can be used in moderation. The reason I included it is because I hear operators say “no problem” for requests that are actually a lot of work for them. When you do this, you accidentally diminish the effort and care you put into a task.
It’s kind of like deflecting a compliment because you feel awkward. If someone shows you appreciation, it’s okay to accept their appreciation graciously. This makes both parties feel good.
Before 🚫: “Oh, it was no problem.”
After 👍: “My pleasure. Glad it was helpful.”
To recap, delete these words to strengthen your writing:
Delete “fine”
Delete “however”
Delete “unfortunately”
Delete double negatives
Delete “can't until”
Delete “honestly”
Delete “just”
Delete “truly,” “very,” “really”
Delete “no problem”
Which are you most excited to delete and why?
Hit reply because I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for being here.
Wes
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This is a great post Wes. Love how clear the examples you provided are. They show the subtle effects different word choices can make and what they subcommunicate.
Wes! I remember reading this when you first published it and eliminating "just", "very" and "really" have stuck with me ever since. I also try to stick to the positive framing (i.e., the use of the can option instead of the can't option). Thanks, as always, from a long time reader and altMBA'er (cohort 6).