16 Comments

Such a great read, Wes. Your analysis in part three is spot on! (P.S. I felt second hand giddiness from that Slack example 😂)

Expand full comment
author

Omg second hand giddiness, I love it Rohan

Expand full comment
Apr 24Liked by Wes Kao

As usual, so nuanced and readable 👏🏼

This feels like a culmination.

I'm curious when you realized that everything you've been writing about in the past few months all falls under the umbrella of "finesse."

Super cool to see the evolution. I smell a book!

Expand full comment
author

This means a lot, thank you Dave. think about judgement as an undercurrent for every post, and have thought about it as a concept for years, but writing about it head on and explicitly was a good intellectual challenge. Judgment cuts horizontally, so I believe it’s best learned on a more specific level. For example, judgment around when/how to share your POV, judgement around giving feedback that actually drives behavior change, judgement around presenting executives, judgment about how to assess ideas, etc. It’s endless and there’s no upper boundary on how good you can be.

Expand full comment

I had coffee with someone this morning who's "personality-message-delivery fit" enables him to say things I couldn't. I like the way you described this as I never really thought of it before.

Expand full comment

Fantastic article! As a small business owner who writes about subjects like this, I found your take bang-on. One of the keys -- actually taking some time to understand the situation -- is so often ignored early often.

Expand full comment
May 2Liked by Wes Kao

As always, so good! I also find that finesse changes based on clients. Some you can be a lot more direct or cheeky with and some it’s a bit more reserved. But there is finesse in identifying those moments/people, too!

Expand full comment

I am wondering if the young professionals who entered the workforce during Covid or remote work settings will have to take extra effort in recognizing finesse and learning how to develop it over time.

Expand full comment

Woah, finally a word that explains that thing I’m missing 😅

People usually referred to it as ‘tact’, but I think finesse is a much better term.

Most of your examples were from conversations with customers, but I think it’s crucial in internal communications too. I remember an instance where we had severe technical problem that affected only our Brazilian customers. We found out about it in hindsight, and the result was incorrect data presented to customers for 2 months.

When they tried to understand the severity of the problem, I answered something like “well, everything we presented in the last 2 months was a lie”. Our COO explained to me in a private message how demoralizing it is to read something like that, and he wrote something much more nuanced.

I remember being very angry, as I felt he was ‘hiding’ the truth, and that inside the organization we should be ‘100% candid’.

Now, 3 years later, I still think we should be honest - but HOW we present the information has huge impact.

Some people have a distaste for politics, and they think finesse is beneath them. In reality, it’s a skill we must improve upon.

Thank you for a great and thoughtful article.

Expand full comment

Excellent career advice in today's day-and-age. It's soft skills, like finesse, that can (and do) make all the difference. So glad I came across your article.

Expand full comment
Apr 24Liked by Wes Kao

Amazing. You truly never miss. I have much to improve on.

Expand full comment
author

Appreciate you Jamal

Expand full comment
Apr 24Liked by Wes Kao

Thank you for sharing a concrete example of how to apply finesse in practice. It’s most helpful for me to see the development towards giving a positively framed answer to an awkward customer question.

Your sharing of concrete examples like this one always make me look forward to your newsletter every week!

Expand full comment

My Wednesdays got better with you, Wes 😃

Expand full comment
author

🥹

Expand full comment

Your content is one of the best!!! This is 100x 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇

Expand full comment