7 Phrases I use to make giving feedback easier for myself

Here are phrases I often use when sharing feedback because it makes it easier for me to speak openly and quickly, and encourages my recipient to take action.

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Read time: 7 minutes

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One of my students said, “Sometimes you just need the right words to say what you want to say.”

This is why I’m a proponent of sharing great scripts and language, both in my course and here in this newsletter.

Having the right words can be the difference between doubting whether to speak up at all, or voicing your point of view confidently.

With that, here are 7 phrases I often use when sharing feedback that makes it easier for me to speak openly and quickly, and encourages my recipient to take action.

1. “This is a great start.”

Use this when: You want to acknowledge effort, but you have lots of constructive feedback.

This phrase is quite versatile and I use it often.

IMO Many managers go awry when they want to acknowledge effort, but they accidentally compliment the work product itself. This sends mixed signals. Don’t do that. Only say “looks good” if you think it actually looks good.

Saying “this is a great start” acknowledges effort and says this is a good first stab—not a good final product.

This allows you to sound positive as you transition into sharing actionable feedback.

🚫 “This looks great.” ← Sounds like it’s good to ship as is.

✅ “This is a great start.” ← Clear that this is a good initial attempt.

2. “I noticed”

Use this when: You want to make your feedback feel more objective and concrete.

Try to root your feedback in concrete observations. When you say “I noticed x,” it shows you are referring to something that happened in the physical, observable world.

It’s not a random, theoretical opinion. It’s not subjective vibes.

Your recipient can always share a different interpretation of what you observed, but sharing an observation immediately makes the conversation more grounded and credible.

🚫 “You are long-winded.”

✅ “I noticed in your response just now, it took a while to get to your main point. We’ve talked about being more concise, so I wanted to point this out as an example to keep an eye on.”

3. “At the same time”

Use this when: “But” feels too negative.

“But” is a negating word. It cancels out whatever comes before it.

Technically, this isn’t positive or negative—it simply is. It’s neutral. “But” can have a negative undertone though, so if you want to avoid it…

Use “at the same time.”

“At the same time” allows you to mention two potentially competing realities, without discrediting either one. This is helpful when you want to disagree without seeming disagreeable.

🚫 “This idea works well for our current situation, but not for what we need going forward.”

✅ “This idea works well for our current situation. At the same time, going forward we will deal with new variables A and B, which makes me think we may want to consider [alternative option] too.”

More on how to use but strategically and how to give feedback to senior leaders without getting fired.

4. “Even more”

Use this when: You are giving feedback to peers or folks more powerful than you.

I called this the Even More technique, and it’s one of my favorites. This is fantastic for giving feedback to your manager, senior leadership, or anyone where they might think it’s jarring that you’re giving them feedback.

The framing of “even more” works because you are not assuming they are lacking, or that something is broken.

Nothing is broken. They are in a good place, and you are simply helping them become even more effective.

🚫 “You haven’t delegated anything strategic to your team, and I fear this is causing them to be overly dependent on you. This worries me.”

✅ “You've done a great job delegating operational tasks this quarter. Your team would grow even more if you start delegating some of the strategic thinking as well. This would give them a chance to practice new skills, be less dependent on you, and open up your bandwidth over time.”

5. “I believe you were trying to do x, but it doesn’t quite work because y. I recommend trying z.”

Use this when: You want to show you understand your recipient’s intent, and want to help them better reach their ideal outcome.

This works because you establish up front what you believe the person was trying to do. This shows you understand their end goal, and you’re trying to help them get there.

We’re also quite specific and concrete by mentioning “it doesn’t work because Y” and offering an alternative, which shows your credibility as a thought partner. When you offer a recommendation, it shows you know your craft. You’re not a desk jockey who can only point out what sucks in your team’s work, but has no idea how to fix it yourself.

This is one of the best ways to avoid giving hand-wavy, overly high-level feedback.

🚫 “This email isn’t compelling.”

✅ “I believe you were trying to get the reader excited to take action, but the way the email is currently structured, it feels very logistics heavy. I recommend first selling them on why this matters, which you can do in a few lines, then share the logistics of what to do.”

6. “Already”

Use this when: You want to be encouraging and build on what the person is currently doing.

Chances are, your recipient is already doing some things right. When you build on this, it feels less like they need to start a whole new behavior from scratch (which is intimidating), and more like they can turn up the volume on something they’re already doing (which feels more doable).

🚫 “You need to speak up.”

✅ “You’re already speaking up regularly in our team meetings, which is fantastic. Now, I’d love for you to speak up more in all-hands meetings to share what your team is working on with the broader company.”

7. “Based on the data points I have around x…” “From what I’ve seen”

Use this when: You want to speak accurately and share what evidence is informing your point of view.

I knew a CEO who loved to tell people he knew them better than they knew themselves. This drove his executive team insane.

Telling people you know them better than they know themselves is not productive. Don’t do this. It reeks of overreach, and it makes people want to debate you.

You can avoid all that messiness by doing this: Speak accurately about what’s informing your insight.

For example, I am quite direct with my executive coaching clients. I’ll point out minor things in the way they react or speak, that is making them come across as junior, not strategic, defensive, etc.

It can be pretty awkward to point out that someone’s natural reaction is making them look bad. So when I speak up about it, I tread lightly and use this technique.

🚫 “You are a dismissive person. You dismiss others.”

✅ “Based on our limited interactions, I’ve noticed you can come across as a bit dismissive. I’m sure this isn’t your intent and I’m only speaking from our conversations so far, but I thought I’d point it out. [Insert concrete examples.]”

Notice, I’m not saying, “you are always this way.” I’m being accurate in sharing the sources of my data points, which are a limited slice of who they are as a person.

I’m not presuming I know what you are like all the time because I do not have visibility into that. I’m simply saying, “From our interactions, this is what I’m picking up on.”

The example above is with my clients, so if you have a direct report where you have personally seen them operate across different settings, you can mention that as well. The point is, you want to avoid labeling people and putting them in boxes.

Btw if you think the script above feels “too soft,” remember, I’m assuming you’re saying something your recipient might be quite upset to hear. You can always remove the softness, but that softness is often what gets people to lower their defenses and actually hear you in the first place.

If the content of what you’re saying might be interpreted as quite harsh, it’s strategic to soften the surrounding pieces because this adds balance, so the entire message won’t be rejected in a knee-jerk reaction.

In my experience, people tend to be much more welcoming when they hear feedback through this lens, even if the feedback itself can be hard to hear.

To recap, here’s the list:

1. “This is a great start”

2. “I noticed”

3. “At the same time”

4. “Even more”

5. “I believe you were trying to do x, but it doesn't quite work because y. I recommend trying z.”

6. “Already”

7. “Based on the data points I have around x…”

Which of these words/phrases are you most excited to try?

Hit reply because I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for being here, and I’ll see you next Wednesday at 8am ET.

Wes

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